Tomorrow will be my husband's 32nd birthday, and his 10th birthday that we have spent together. That's a lot of birthdays, and a lot of time together. I knew I could spend forever with him WAY before that thought ever crossed his mind. Here's how it began...
It was spring break, 10 years ago, that he broke up with me. We had been "seeing" each other for 4-5 months, and the day before spring break he told me he wants to break up. He was going to graduate in a few months and then move back to his parents', which was 2.5 hours from where I lived, and 2 hours from school, and I still had 2 years left to go. He told me that since we were such great friends, which we were, that he didn't want to mess that up by trying to do a long-distance relationship.
I was really sad for a mili-second, and then I thought, "What an idiot! We are fantastic together!" I think that at one point, the next day, I even told him how stupid I thought it was.
Over break we played Literati (scrabble) and Cribbage online against each other, like we did at school late at night. He told me that he still wanted to take me out for my birthday when we got back to school. So, that Sunday, when we returned, we saw each other at a mutual friend's apartment (the place we met, actually). Later that night he came over to watch a movie and we discussed the plans for my birthday the next day, and then he left.
We went out for my birthday the next night - dinner at Amarillo Steakhouse - and, afterwards, decided to get back together. After a week of playing games online with him every night, I knew we couldn't stay apart for too long...it just worked too well.
One of his gifts to me for this birthday was an actual Cribbage board he bought at the local church rummage sale. It had no pegs, so he went to Walmart, bought a dowel, and cut and whittled the wood into pegs. This gift was so "him." It was inexpensive, but extremely thoughtful - as have been almost all of my birthday gifts since then.
Sometime after he proposed (years later), my dad said he knew he was right for me after a visit to our house one weekend. We had spent the entire day Saturday playing board and card games and if this guy was happy spending the day like that with me, he had to be the one.
Now, I don't believe there are "perfect" marriages. How can there be? If there are, ours isn't one of them. However, I know that there is no one in the universe I would rather be spending my life with than this man...not even Justin Timberlake (see my post "Confessions"). I don't think I'm a great wife, though - I hate cleaning, and dishes, and laundry, and I don't cook very well, so if we lived in any time before 1960 or so, it would be a wonder he's still around! Even in the post about him, I could remember MY first birthday with him...but I can't remember what we did for HIS birthday a week later! But most of the time, on his part of the marriage, he is a great husband and father and here are some reasons why and why I love him so much...
He does all the yard work.
He does the laundry.
He has been doing the dishes a lot more - really a trade off now because it's either dishes or watch Marin, who, right now only wants mommy so he would be trying to entertain a screaming baby...or dishes. What's your pick, really?
He works misc. jobs to make a few extra bucks.
He stops me from spending (even when he's not there).
He puts Mallory to bed most nights, and it is adorable to listen to from downstairs.
He is 1/2 the reason I have such amazing and beautiful daughters.
He has taught Mallory how to ask really politely for things, and taught her her shapes with K'nex.
We have similar views towards our kids and parenting.
He makes me laugh.
His friends love him.
He is always willing to help others and puts others first, sometimes to a fault, I think.
He loves our kids sooooo much.
He has put up with 2 epidural-less labor and deliveries.
He's going to build a pirate ship playhouse for the kids because I really want one.
We still have fun together.
That last one is important. I think we get caught up in school and work and parenting, and sometimes go long periods of time without having any real fun together. And then it happens...an unexpected day off, a family trip to Lowes, a discussion about how ridiculous something or someone is, a talk about something adorable one of the girls did - a time where we're pulled out of all the crap that drags you down and away from each other, and we reconnect again.
All this emotional stuff drives him bananas. If he reads this he'll be rolling his eyes....the entire time, I'm sure.
I've come to realize that I am a great mom, but I know I'm not the best wife - I still have no clue what I'm going to get him for his birthday and it's tomorrow - but I know what a great husband I have. And even though I don't show it enough through my actions - dirty dishes, unfolded laundry, a funny tasting dinner - I do love him, and I hope he knows that.