Thursday, March 21, 2013


Stupid girl problem alert! I understand how silly it may seem to even think about this, but I do, so I'm sharing it here. Stop reading at any time if you start rolling your eyes at me. It's okay to walk away from my writing today.

I don't have a best friend.

I'm counting out my husband here, by the way.

I have friends. Friends who brought us food after having a baby. Friends who I talk to online with. Friends I work with. Friends I do stuff with. Friends from before, during and after college. I have friends.

I'm talking about a best friend. Someone who is your best friend and you are theirs. Where people say you two are joined at the hip; everyone knows you are best friends. I know this is a totally ridiculous problem, but I'm just trying to be honest here and this is what's on my mind today.

I have a hard time thinking of one of my friends whom I can't pair up with their BEST friend - I know them all, even if I've never met them. My mom had a best friend for years and years and I think they've parted ways now. Now she has 2 new best friends and I think the three of them are great together and so I don't think like she feels like she's missing out on having just one best friend...she has 2. Both my sisters have best friends. For Kate, it's Rachel. For Nicole, it's Diane. And if you asked Rachel and Diane, they would say my sisters are their best friends, right back. That's the kicker, here.

I have a really good friend whom I would say is MY best friend, but I know I am not hers. That's where I'm stuck. Not that our friendship isn't good enough, I just know, when asked, I would not be listed as her BEST friend.

I'm not sure I'll be able to find one at this point. Anyone new that I meet at this point, most likely, will already have one. I meet people all the time and think, "we could be such great friends" but they already have a best friend so I'm left out again.

I'm not really sure where to go from here. And I am in no way trying to throw myself a pity party either. I don't feel like,"poor me," I just think about this sometimes and it bothers me. A lot of times as I'm writing I come to some realization, or epiphany, or figure out the solution. Today, I'm stuck. Stuck without a solution (if there even is one). Stuck without a best friend. Stuck without knowing if it's okay - I have friends, so that's good, but will I ever stop feeling like I'm missing out on some secret sisterhood?

I guess, at least, I'm no longer stuck without a good title!


  1. My best friend lives on the other side of the planet, so even though we can share anything and would drop everything when needed it is not the 'joined at hip' scenario. Having someone who absolutely accepts me is fabulous, but there are times when they aren't in town, or even in the same country, that are hard. Hang in there!

  2. I love your post. I know exactly how you feel...and like you, I don't want pity but I personally mourn the fact of my missing BFF. I don't think though, that everyone already has their best friend so there's none left for us. I think that friends come in and out of our lives if we are open to their friendship and so, I'm still waiting for my best one. I hope you find yours too. Thanks for sharing...

  3. I can relate to this. I have friends at school, but not a best friend. I did have one at one point. The kind of friend who you can call at any time and she'll drop everything for you. We eventually parted ways over an argument, and I really mourned the loss. It was like a death. I feel like you that it probably won't happen. But I wish it would.

  4. I now you started by saying you weren't talking about your husband, but... I think that may be part of the reason why you (and I) don't have a best friend. I have had best friends at several points in my life (and it was always one best, not several like you hear about today). They are all still my friends, but the investment of time and understanding and sharing common goals and choosing one person over ALL others - well, that describes how I feel about my husband. And it's hard - impossible? - to do that with more than one person. It is for me, anyway. And yet with all that said, I do know exactly what you mean, and how you feel. Great writing!